I am supposed to be preparing for a class and here I am pounding out letters instead.
“You will write, if you will write without thinking of the result in terms of a result, but think of the writing in terms of discovery, which is to say that creation must take place between pen and the paper, not before in a thought or afterwards in a recasting.” Gertrude Stein on “creative recognition”
And so I write or type – no thought but the coming in and out of words and no continuous idea but the immediate typing of words that emerge from the keys. Isn’t it interesting – at least to me –that the piano has white and black keys and the typewriter has black and white keys as well…. perhaps they produce a music of sorts. I keep searching for definitions of words, short story, writing, memory, confusion, desolation, loneliness, longing, sorrow and ….I stopped typing because I was thinking.
This morning I was looking for a book of poetry – Jane Hirschfield’s Salt and Sugar– found it and then found myself sitting on my meditation mat reading neglected poems.
There are people I loved once who are lost to me. I did not tend love well enough – maybe there was too much envy, bitterness…something changed and those I loved were lost.